4.0 Attenuate the Positive

It is impossible to overstate the power of positive focus in your writing. To write positively requires that your mind think in that same direction. So, focus on the good stuff, on what you can do, not what you can’t; and stay far away from negative thinking and a negative  tone. Realize that you paint a picture with your words, and that it is up to you to make it good enough to hang in the Louvre.

TONE

The tone you use in your writing plays a vital role in your ultimate success with any issue. It conveys your attitude, your personality, and even how you feel about your reader. Whatever your personal style, it is important to remember that, when you are writing, you are, in effect, talking on paper. And, in today’s world, where so much business is done through writing, people are listening. So, just what kind of tone should you use in your letters? The answer is simple: Be nice, and you will never regret it—you are also much more likely to get what you want. Be unpleasant or insulting, and you can be assured that your letter will get about as far as the recipient’s trash can. For example, if you write in a terse, abrupt manner, then you come across as a brusque, unfriendly person. If you write in a flowery, impish way, your reader may think he can walk all over you. But, if you write like a warm, sincere, supportive professional, then that is how your reader will see you. Having a respectful and kind tone in your writing is the best way to boost your chances for winning business relationships. Remember: You reap what you sow.

Negative, boorish tone:

Here is a memo from a manager to his employees announcing the company’s new policies for office work hours and tardiness. To: All Employees From: John Talada Date: April 5, 2020 Re: New business hours/tardiness Effective tomorrow, the official workday at Crewdson, Inc. will be from 8 A.M. to 5 P.M.—thereby beginning the workday one hour earlier. The longer workday is due to the fall in production we experienced last quarter. Employees in the department of information technology must especially learn to work more expediently so that the rest of the team can process the client’s accounts on a timely basis. In addition, employees who do not arrive at work on time must stay at work until that time is made up. When you are late to work, your coworkers’ ability to process client accounts may also become delayed. So for the sake of the entire company, get to work on time. Further sanctions may be given to employees who are continually late to work. 

This memo is condescending and challenging. It suggests that the information technology department is to blame for the longer workday, which will immediately put the department on the defensive. In addition, the memo not only puts off people who arrive on time to work, but also demonstrates the manager’s clear lack of grace and warmth. Subordinates will not follow such an uncouth leader for long. Positive, respectful tone: Here is how the manager can improve his writing style.

To: All Employees

From: John Talada

Date: April 5, 2020

Re: New business hours/tardiness Just a reminder that, starting tomorrow, the official workday at Crewdson, Inc. will be from 8 A.M. to 5 P.M. I know this requires us all to be in the office an hour earlier, but this new policy will give us the time we need to do our jobs as best we can. Note also that if you arrive to work tardy, you must make up that time by staying at work later. Many of you already do this, but tomorrow the policy becomes official and I wanted to remind you. As always, please stop by and see me if you have any questions or concerns. Thanks for the continued great work—keep it up! The readers—even the ones who arrive late to work a lot—leave this memo with a much more positive feeling. They are reminded that the boss is paying attention to everything and is also there for them. There is no need to point fingers at who’s to blame for the longer workday, by identifying a specific department, or to be threatening, by bringing up possible future sanctions for being late to work; doing so only causes ill will. Clients, colleagues, customers, subordinates, and managers all like to deal with people who are open and gracious. Even when you are the person in charge, remember that you are not running the show alone, and that your people will eventually bail out in droves if you spread negativity. In fact, using a positive tone is so important that, in many cases, it is your only option.

HOW TO DEVELOP A PLEASING TONE

Thomas Jefferson once said: “On no question can a perfect unanimity be hoped.” He was right. There is no way for everyone to agree about everything all the time. So, the only workable option is to express yourself with dignity and poise, and afford others that same opportunity. You give people the chance to respond to you with grace when you approach them with grace. Whether you are a pleasant, positive person by nature, or you can’t make it through the holidays without shouting, “Bah, humbug,” here are a few tips on how to develop a pleasing tone in your letters:

■ Be natural: This means, be yourself. Don’t write anything that you wouldn’t say, like “I solicit your kind indulgence” instead of “Can you send me the report on . . . ” or “I regret to inform you that . . . ” instead of “We wish we could admit all of our applicants, but . . . ” Of course, you have to keep in mind all the different ways you speak to people—you wouldn’t use the same tone with your children as you would with your boss—and always use professional discretion.

■ Use everyday language: Apply the human factor. Clients can’t build a relationship with a machine; so show them that you are human by avoiding terms like modus operandi and sine qua non. Replace those phrases with words like method and essential. Don’t make the common mistake of equating stuffy and impersonal with respectful—it is not. It is simply stuffy and impersonal. ■ Don’t get sloppy or careless: Even though you should be warm and personal in your tone, be sure not to get sloppy with your prose. Remember that you are at work and that consistency with proper grammar and sentence structure is key to maintaining a positive professional image.

■ Be humble: It is critical to stay in touch with your workforce if you want longterm success and mutual respect. So, use language that your employees can relate to—but don’t talk down to them. Remember: They simply occupy subordinate positions to yours; they are not inferior human beings.

■ Cut out angry words and phrases: They do nothing more than provoke an argument, which is not your goal. Delete anything that sounds accusatory or patronizing: lazy, alibi, or blame. Avoid libelous words such as fraud, cheat, or unethical, or you will need a lawyer before you know it. Remember that people with opinions differing from yours are not necessarily crazy or ignorant. Adopt Thomas Jefferson’s quote: “I tolerate with the utmost latitude the right of others to differ from me in opinion without imputing to them criminality.” There is nothing more annoying than a preachy, self-righteous tone—and it will eventually come back to bite you.

■ Emphasize what you can do, not what you can’t do: Focus on the upside of the situation, and offer alternatives if possible. Quick true story: Two families signed contracts to buy the same house. When the developer realized the error, they decided to give the house to the family whose contract had arrived in the office first. Then, the developer explained the situation to the other family (who was now out one house) and immediately offered another home at the same price, but with several upgrades. Both families accepted happily, appreciated the honesty, and ended up with their needs met.

■ No negativity: Unless you are writing a letter that absolutely demands some negative content (like a collection letter), avoid negative words and phrases as m
uch as possible. These are words like: impossible, terrible, never, or crisis.

■ Do more than you have to—go above and beyond: This means you should help someone even if you think it won’t directly benefit you. Your tone has a way of opening—or closing—the most unexpected doors. Imagine you are the director of a private high school, and a parent new to your town writes to ask about your school for her seven-year-old daughter. You can either respond abruptly with a snappy “We are a high school, not an elementary school.” Or, you can reply with a helpful and kind “Thank you for your interest in our school, and welcome to Bellport! We are a high school, with kids in grades nine through twelve, but we look forward to having your daughter join us as a ninth grader in a few years. Here is our recommendation for a wonderful local elementary school . . . ”

■ Time your letters for best results: Although you want to allow yourself the time to think through each letter you write, you should also be respectful of the reader’s time. This means that you should respond as promptly as possible. This reflects positively on you as a caring and diligent person. For large matters, you can simply reply with an initial acknowledgment to the sender to tell him that you received the letter and you are looking over it.

■ Show enthusiasm: Let’s face it, eagerness and passion are contagious. People usually react well to a positive outlook. So, don’t be afraid to use words or phrases like beyond compare or invaluable asset to emphasize the positive.

■ Use contractions to warm it up (or cool it down without them): Have you ever noticed the way newscasters and television anchors present their material? Of course their job is to present the news seriously and professionally. But they also personalize and warm up their rhetoric by using contractions when they speak. If they didn’t do this, they would sound stilted, cold, and unnatural. The same goes for your writing. If you want to sound warm and accessible, try this: “We’d like to break this project up into a few manageable chunks before it is crunch time” sounds better than “We would like to break this project up into a few manageable parts before it is crunch time.” Of course, it is sometimes necessary to make your point stronger by drawing it out more, and by not using contractions: “We do not recommend that you go forward with this project right now— it is only a matter of weeks before three other larger projects begin.”

■ Read your letter aloud before you send it: A good final test for your letter is to read it aloud to yourself to see how it flows. If it sounds natural and paints a professional and pleasant picture, then you are ready to send it.

BE MINDFUL OF YOUR MOOD

One thing that we sometimes forget to take into consideration with our busy schedules is what kind of mood we’re in when we write something, and how that mood might affect what we say. And it is the rare person who is in a happy, lovely mood all day every day. So, you need to be careful about what you send out when you are in a mood.You might be tired, stressed, or just plain angry at something. But, it always looks worse when you transfer those feelings to paper and send it to someone else. One executive uses this technique when he has an I shouldn’t be dealing with humanity day: If I’m on a time crunch, I try to at least have one other person quickly read my letter and edit it for hostility. But, if I have more time, or the issue is a big one, I write and revise it, and even ask for my boss’s opinion, and then proof it again before sending it. Too many people today are afraid of using the expert resources—their super-visors or more experienced colleagues—that are right there in front of them, just waiting to be a mentor to someone. I think it shows that you are knowledgeable, mature, professional, and focused when you ask for a second opinion.You grow quicker when you ask questions. Don’t be too ready to show others they are wrong. Remember that you are writing to change something, not to vent your feelings. You can even try to validate both points of view, and then gently persuade the reader with your opinion. And it is fine to vent your feelings privately (writing them down does help), but never send a letter in anger. Give your rage a chance to dissolve a bit, and then write something that is productive, rather than sniping: Sniping: “Dave, what were you thinking with that proposal? I’m stumped by your stupidity. Redo it so it looks like something we can actually work with.” Productive: “Dave, let’s meet and go over that proposal. I’ve got a few ideas I’d like to run by you—looking forward to getting your thoughts.” You are human, so you will have plenty of slip-ups. But, that also means that you will have plenty of opportunities to make amends. So, when the time comes, be prepared to write an apology e-mail. You don’t have to stumble all over yourself in total reverence to your reader; you just need to maintain some sense of compassion and humanity with your words. You will be proud of your professional self in the end. 

NAVIGATING SOCIAL MEDIA

Social media is a major presence in our lives, both professional and personal. Never forget that although it seems more informal than writing a full e-mail or letter, it is still a form of written communication. Tone and presentation become incredibly important when posting online. You should write on social media in a way that reflects the best of your skills and abilities. Remember that social media is (usually) public, and can reflect directly on you. • Don’t skimp on the prep work: If you’re posting on a professional social media account, you should always plan, write, and check your writing as though you were presenting to your CEO. • Think before you post: Ask yourself, is this post appropriate? Is the information accurate? Could this be seen as damaging in any way, or offend anyone? • Check before you send: Always proofread; spelling errors and typos can make you look unprofessional and unpolished, and lead to embarrassing feedback online. • Keep a light, professional tone: Posting on social media often means interacting with clients, customers, colleagues, or other professionals in your field. Always be respectful and polite, because you never know who’s reading. • Don’t fall into the informality trap: Short posts can feel deceptively informal or conversational. They’re still writing! And you should beware of posting personal opinions, personal information, or posts that are sarcastic or mean. People have lost jobs and professional esteem for letting their personal opinions creep into their professional lives. It’s always better to err on the side of neutral caution when posting online, even if it’s a personal account. Keep your personal writing and opinions hidden behind a private account, but never forget that even “private” social media posts have a way of becoming public sometimes. Make sure your social media writing is as polished and mindful as any e-mail you would write. 

SUMMARY

Tone is a powerful and important tool in all business communications. You can bring grace and dignity to any business letter by using your words to paint a positive, beautiful masterpiece. You do this by writing in a sincere, professional, optimistic manner, regardless of the subject content or the receiver’s demeanor. This theory follows the age-old admonition of the Golden Rule: “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” In other words: If you honor people with your words, you honor yourself in the process. Emphasizing the positive is as easy as saying: “Always remember me,” instead of “Never forget me.” But there are some time-tested techniques that can help you develop a pleasing tone:

■ Be natural, not stiff.

■ Use common language, not stilted phrases.

■ Don’t be sloppy.

■ Be humble, not haughty.

■ Remove angry words such as lazy or blame.

■ Emphasize w
hat you can do.

■ Avoid negative, demoralizing words.

■ Do more than you have to—help someone, even if you think it won’t affect you directly.

■ Respond promptly to people, unless the topic is one that needs time to mull over—then let them follow your thinking process.

■ Show enthusiasm—it is contagious.

■ Use contractions to warm it up; don’t use them if you want to emphasize something.

■ Read your message aloud before sending it—that puts you in the reader’s shoes and gives a great overall image that your words present. It is also important to pay attention to your mood when you write. If possible, you might need to wait a few days until your disposition improves, so you can write with clarity and professional candor.You want to avoid hostile words at all costs, as they only serve to worsen a situation. Remember that you are writing to persuade, not to vent your anger. You have to be at your best in your letters, even if you are not in the best mood when you write them. Ultimately, you have done your job well if you have written to accentuate the positive and you leave circumstances better than you found them.